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i cried uncontrollably because God helped me, most intimate moments with Jesus

I Cried Uncontrollably Because God Helped Me – Ekujumi Tobiloba Elizabeth

Last month one of the older mother’s in my church reached out to me after we had our cell meeting at her place. She told me about a small women group meeting they usually have and said she wants me to speak to them every month on the topic “The Total Woman.”

“Ma, say of what age range are these women?” I asked. 

“You don’t worry about their ages. Just prepare.”

Well, speaking on The Total Woman is easy, I thought. It’s not a prayer meeting. So I’ll study my previous notes on the Proverbs-31-Woman and I’ll be ready. So I made some light preparation.

Some weeks ago, the meeting held. But before this, I called the mother who had requested that I speak again and asked, “how many women are we expecting Ma?”

“Just a few. Maybe 10…thereabouts.”

You see, I have spoken at meetings before but always in the presence of young people. I would never speak before elders.

So the day came, 22-07-18.

I took my finely prepared notes to speak on the usual Proverbs 31 woman.

Honestly speaking, I had prayed about this and felt very prepared. 

I put on some lovely makeup, sprayed some perfume, plugged a sermon to my ears, to which I listened as I strolled to the venue; even murmured a few words in tongues as I did. Only for me to get to the venue to find over 32 Deaconesses from my church – all married women, some with grandkids).

I knew every one of them but because the population of my church is large, hardly any of them knew me.

The first resource person was a popular one. She had come all the way from Lagos. As she spoke, I listened and realized that she seemed to be speaking on everything I had prepared to speak on. 

I was stuck. What else will I say? I thought.

My heart began beating heavily, my feet cold as my fingers trembled.

In reaction to this, I did the next reasonable thing. I approached the woman who had invited me and asked if there was any need for me to speak after what I had just heard. She responded in the affirmative. To compound my woes, I sensed that the women in the audience didn’t believe I was a resource person.

Realizing how much help I needed at this point, I went into the bathroom and with my cold hands clinched together, I echoed my very commonly used phrase, “LORD HELP ME.”

Minutes later, I was introduced.

At first, I stammered, then I began to speak…

I was supposed to speak for 30 minutes but spoke for more than an hour.

No, I wasn’t being indisciplined, they had asked me to speak on.

At the end of my session, some of these women were in tears. Together they decided that they must pray for me. According to them, they have never heard anything like what I had shared. 

As they prayed for me, while I was on my knees, I began crying uncontrollably. 

Why?

I barely remembered anything I said.

On getting home and sharing what happened with my parents, I began crying again.

Why?! 

God helped me!

My Mum was displeased with me for having not recorded my talk. 

I was still in awe at this point.

I got text messages from these women that surprised me. One of them is even trying to make me her daughter in law now.

Another edition of this meeting will come up next month and I am certain I will be super prepared this time.

But seriously, as we come to understand who we are in Christ, we become more dependent on Him. Being connected to Him, we draw always from Him. 

He is the Vine, we are the branches. 

Don’t ever think you are too prepared to face life on your own. You cannot run your life on your own. 

Stop feeling all sufficient without Him. Learn to trust Him with your life. You would be shocked by the outcome. 

Our confidence is not in who we are in the flesh but in who He has made us in the Spirit. 

We must depend solely on Him! 

Every day I echo these same words, “Lord help me.”

You too can echo them, “LORD HELP ME!” 

He is truly our help.

Ebenezer🔥🔥🔥

***

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