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Jesus Saved Me From Anger, Lesbianism, and Masturbation – Kehinde

My name is Kehinde, (female), and I’m glad to share my salvation story with you. But before I go into those details, I would be sharing a short poem which I wrote some time ago. This poem, you will find, is an attempt at describing my salvation experience. It may not be much, but I hope it blesses you.

 

I was lost in the wilderness of Sin,
beaten and smitten by the scorching sun
looking for a way out to come in,
here and there I began to run

I heard that the Saviour had died,
long ago to deliver me
I heard that the Saviour had cried,
beaten with many stripes to heal me

“I want to be free! I want to be free!” I cried
Sin-soaked, drowned in the sea of sin,
shackles and chains had me tied
I wept and cried, hoping for a way come in,

Then heard the echo of a calling voice,
like that of a gentleman it sounded
The Devil stood his ground, making a lot of noise
Fear and doubt swallowed me, and I was wounded

Louder and louder, the voice kept calling,
a flicker of hope appeared in my teary eyes
“You can be free if you are willing”
“Washed and cleansed from the sin – stains, and dyes”

By Faith, I reached out to Him,
He set me free from the shackles of sin
Too much of tears had made my eyes dim
Then, He pulled me out and brought me in

His LOVE bought me,
His MERCY sought me,
His GRACE found me,
By FAITH, I came home…

 

I was born into a Muslim family. Since my parents were adherents of the Muslim Faith, my siblings and I took on after them and practiced the same faith. But, by God’s show of mercy and grace, my mother met Jesus and soon began taking my siblings and me to church.

Paradox of a Child

I was a paradox of a child. I often came off as gentle and quiet but was also an extremely violent child. Rarely did any boy in primary school provoke or insult me, because if they did, they faced the consequences. It took so little to rile me up and when I did get riled up, it most often ended in a fight.

I was as violent at home as I was in school. Fought a lot with my brothers as a result.

My anger produced cruelty, for once I got angry, I spoke without giving much thought to the things I said, to whom I said them, or the potential hurt they would cause. And whenever this happened, I would be scolded and would cry (to God) because I recognized deep within that I didn’t want to be that angry child.

I have come to realize that Jesus alone can remove from us the sin nature and restore us into fellowship with the  Father. It does not matter how calm, gentle, good or collected you are, if you haven’t met Jesus, you would still be in possession of the sin nature.


Related Story: Sexually Abused At Five, I Bore The Trauma And Guilt Alone, Then I Found Redemption – Oluwaseye

Lured Into Lesbianism and Masturbation

Anger wasn’t the only thing I suffered from as a child. Still, at a young age, I was led into lesbianism and masturbation. I vividly remember how my naivety was exploited as I got lured into these acts by two of my childhood friends – details of which I’d rather not disclose. I’d like to advise though that parents watch out for their children. It isn’t always safe to assume that every friend of your child is a friend of your child.

I tried for a while to fight these acts but I always failed. It seemed impossible to stop them. I would cry bitterly after each act because of how dirty and empty they made me feel. But the tears changed nothing.

I couldn’t let anyone know what I was going through. How could I! I thought it was peculiar to me. I was afraid of the shame it’d bring when I told someone.

Joining the choir – which I did, also didn’t change anything; it did not even qualify me as being saved.

His Unfathomable Love
Despite my struggles, despite my filthy state of being, Jesus loved me still and waited for me.Click To Tweet

Despite these struggles, despite my filthy state of being, I found that Jesus loved me still and waited for me. He believed that someday I would realize how desperately I needed Him and then come to accept His love and grace. Eventually, I did.

I often wept whenever I heard of God’s impending judgment on sinners. Those tears – which resulted from fear never produced repentance. I realize now that repentance is more about your decision to turn from your old life and receive Christ’s Life than it is about the tears you shed. You would have to make up your mind to live God’s life while accepting that you can’t do so by yourself but through dependence on God’s grace which is immensely available to you.

I eventually decided to give myself over to Jesus and accept Him as Lord and Saviour of my Life.

Repentance is more about deciding to turn from your old life and receive Christ than it is about shedding tears.Click To Tweet
Salvation’s Joy

It’d be impossible to express the joy that flooded my heart that day. It made me feel like giving my life to Jesus every new day.

Since then, I found near palpable love in Him. We had (and still have) what I’d call a romantic relationship. I hear Him speak clearly to me, and in a most loving manner correct me when I stray from Him. I cannot count the number of times I’ve heard Him profess His love to me. It’s so real when I hear Him say “I love you”. “I love you too Father”, I often reply.

Jesus Saved Me From Anger, Lesbianism, and Masturbation

My fellowship with Jesus wasn’t in mere words. My fellowship with Him was accompanied by transformation and healing. He caused my anger to cease. Now, I easily ignore and/or walk away from any source of provocation. That propensity to be provoked ceased. And not just that, I stopped the immoral practices of lesbianism and masturbation. And today, I can confidently say that these sins no longer rule over me.

My fellowship with Jesus wasn't in mere words. My fellowship with Him was accompanied by transformation and healing.Click To Tweet

Have you met with Christ, has He changed your life? It is not too late to do so today. Jesus only is (the way to) eternal life. He loves you despite your many sins. Jesus loves you. Give Him your love and life today.

God bless you.

***


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