Hi, I am Fashanu Isaac, and this is my salvation story – a story of how I got saved from an incessant feeling of condemnation. I hope it brings liberation to anyone struggling under the same weight.
It is one thing to be born again. It is yet another to live in the light of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross and the liberty He obtained for us. When we lack this light, though saved from sin, we find ourselves subject to many of the weights we bore while we were unsaved. This was me several years ago after I had just given my life to Christ.
Riddled with Fear
I was always seeking forgiveness, always consciously or subconsciously asking God to forgive my sins. This was due to my fear and uncertainty about what eternity held for me.
Some of my most dreaded moments came at the long blast of the horns of moving trucks. At such times, I would shout, “Olorun dariji mi o!”, which means “Lord forgive me!” in case there was something I had done wrong that could make me miss the rapture. This got so bad that I began having visions in which I would miss the rapture. I mean, the devil harnessed my ignorance. He made me movies in High Definition, many of which I ended up sharing with people, thinking I really was ministering to them. My thoughts were often centered around making heaven. I just must enter! I’d always think.
I Began Asking Questions
This continued until I got tired and started asking questions. I began sensing that something was wrong. I could read the same verdict of hopelessness in the environment I grew up in. No one was sure of making it to heaven. How can God be this hard? I thought. It’s like He gives you a bowl of food, sits in front of you as you eat, with a long whip in hand, stern look on His face, ready to give you a beating if a grain of your food dared fall to the ground.I was always seeking forgiveness, always consciously or subconsciously asking God to forgive my sins. This was due to my fear and uncertainty about what eternity held for me.
That’s how I must have pictured Him until I started studying scriptures for myself. In doing this, I found a word which redefined how I began viewing God. I found that God was being referred to as Father. It felt like a matter of life and death to dare to call Him Father. How could I call Him Father?
I realized that I had learned wrongly all the while and that He was my Father who was just waiting for me to fellowship with Him on that ground. But my blindness prevented me.
And so, precept upon precept I started seeing bigger pictures of His plan and how important our consciousness is to our relationship with Him. He began causing a shift in my knowledge of His person up to the extent that at some point, it felt like a new software was being installed within me. The fear of the unknown faded due to this. It felt like the passing of night and the dawn of morning.
Soon, God connected me with a select group of God-seekers who helped deal with aged ideologies and mind-constructs which I innocently held on to. He patiently ensured that I unlearned and relearned more accurately anew.
I Judge Him Faithful
It’s been an unusual, yet pleasant ride and I judge Him faithful who has started this good work to complete it (Philippians 1:6).How can God be this hard? I thought. It’s like He gives you a bowl of food, sits in front of you as you eat, with a long whip in hand, stern look on His face, ready to give you a beating if a grain of your food dared fall to the ground.
I have chosen to put this write up together as an inventory of some of the things that keep believers from walking worthy of their calling, of expressing way less of who they have been made in Christ. There is so much adventure and Life in store for every believer in Christ and we must recognize this, leave no room for fear, and rest in the Father’s unfailing love and desires for us to be just like Him.
I hope this story inspires you to find true freedom in Him.
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